Comments - When 2nd node attempts to add to galera, donor gets: --innobackupex: unknown option '--wsrep-new-cluster'
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I figured this out. The version of MariaDB-backup was out of sync. MariaDB-backup was 10.4.18, everything else was 10.4.8. This was due to backup being installed later than the rest of MariaDB but from the same repo. The repos points to 10.4, but the patch level can change. Once I updated everything to 10.4.18 the other nodes joined the cluster.